As a woman, aspiring to be a good writer that also delivers consistently can be hard.
Let me cut to the chase and explain right away.
It is one week before your period. If you are a biological woman, the chances are you at least have some symptoms of PMS, enough to overwhelm your nerves to the point of throwing your ambitious writing schedule off the rails.
And God forbid, if you suffer from PMDD — you are caught in a rut of low energetic states. Like a pendulum, you are swinging between feeling anxious and depressed. Somewhere in middle of those states, ideas begin to strike your racing mind at full speed that if you somehow manage to jot down, all it pretty much amounts to is walls of incomprehensible word vomit.
Of course, you don’t get to the point of turning these notes into final drafts whatsoever, but no problemo, you will come back to decipher the piles of gibberish text on a good day and potentially churn out a sensible piece or two out of them.
But now, one week before your period — mission abort.
Drumroll! Then comes your period.
Goodness gracious, your writing goals have been stalled for yet another week! Whilst bleeding profusely, the cramps and pain have gotten the better part of your physical existence; whereas up in your head, most people around you seem insufferable. As for those irritating, obligatory tasks staring at your face — not a chance they stand in getting done anytime soon!
Right now, the goal is to survive this phase. All the writing will happen if you safely make it through the other side without ending up in jail for butchering someone else.
Another week befalls — and here we go again!
It is no breaking news that there are many of us women that experience post-period syndrome. That’s right. You will need another week to rise from the intense dysphoria you experienced these past two weeks and recover from the fatigue of it all.
It’s almost feels like resurrecting from the dead.
While all this time you’ve been busily tossed between one mood swing to another, just like that, three weeks have slipped off of your fingers already. But now, slowly but surely, you are stepping into your element again.
Here comes that one week of normalcy. Finally, one week of peace.
But is it?
Because now the pressure is mounting. This is your time to write. The week you’d been waiting for. The week you had all your hopes and dreams pinned upon.
Go drug your self with as much caffeine you need. Whatever helps you get into your highly evasive flow-state — where a stream of fresh ideas effortlessly shoot out of your mind; where write you do, and seamlessly so. Or, at the very least, turn one of those countless wall of words into an intelligible final draft. And finally, hit publish.
It’s pretty much a do-or-die situation.
Wait what? You don’t feel inspired to write? Tsk tsk tsk. Well, you’ve missed the only window of opportunity.
So you unexpectedly got busy with whatever defines as your actual job and can’t find the time or energy to write? Well, you’ve missed your only chance.
Hit with yet another writer’s block? Well, what can I say, brilliant timing sis!
Oh okay, so you’re a neurodivergent, and like me you suffer from severe ADHD too? Tough life, hon!
Wait, did you just say you’re also a mom and primary care person to your little kids — a toddler and a preschooler? No can do.
You’re fucked.
Better luck next month, lady love!
A quick note: In case you’re unsure, this is a satirical piece based in sarcastic humour piece. So leave all assumptions aside and enjoy! ;)